Fairy Tales
by Razgriz91
Summary: In which Hermione discovers that storytelling is harder than it looks! Oneshot, HG/GW, femmeslash. Don't like? Then don't read! Rated for light swearing. Merry Christmas to all!


_AN: _So, I wrote this story about a year ago for a fic exchange and never really got around to posting it here. I figured it was about time to remedy that, and to let everyone know that I'm still alive out here. A word of advice, just because it's your senior year of high school does NOT mean that it's smart to totally slack off on your work. Damn senioritis… Oh! And in the interest of avoiding confusion here are a five points that you probably need to know:

_1.)_ **Hermione's head.**

_2.) __Hermione's heart._

3.) This takes place after the fourth book.

4.) I don't own Harry Potter.

5.) …Actually, I don't have a fifth point. …What? Can't I just pull a random number out of my ass?

Okay! On with the story!

**Fairy Tales**

"I'm…I'm not so sure about this Ginny." Hermione said as she eyed the river warily from her position on the bank high overhead. Ginny just rolled her eyes and smiled at the older witch reassuringly.

"It'll be fine Hermione, don't you trust me?" She asked, a pout beginning to spread across her face. Normally, this was always a soft spot for Hermione. Right now, however, her attention was focused on the river below.

"I trust you with my life Ginny, just not with my limbs…" Hermione trailed off. That water really didn't seem very deep.

"Oh come on! I've done this hundreds of times! You just gotta land in the right spot." Ginny assured as she began to climb the tall oak next to them. She stopped at a particularly thick branch and sat on it, looking down at Hermione expectantly.

"Just gotta land in the right spot?! Oh, thanks Gin! That makes me feel soooo much better!" Hermione replied sarcastically, making the younger witch giggle.

"Awww! You're so cute when you're being a smart ass!" Ginny cooed mockingly, standing and balancing herself on the branch that she was sitting on. Hermione scowled up at her, but it wasn't long before her features melted into a look of awe as Ginny traversed the length of the branch. She always managed to show a sense of grace with everything that she did, though Hermione seemed to be the only one that noticed. Everyone else considered Ginny to be lanky and awkward, but Hermione somehow saw an inner grace conditioned into every deliberate move that Ginny made.

At one point, the older witch decided that it must be due to her status as the best Chaser that Gryffindor had seen in many years. Her balance and poise on the broomstick had apparently carried into her everyday life, giving her a walk that seemed almost like a balancing act. At the same time, her quick reflexes that she had developed from catching quaffles, dodging bludgers, and scoring goals from far away made it so that the hassles of student life were almost a breeze to Ginny. At least, when you dealt with the physical aspects. The academic aspects…well, that was a different story.

It wasn't that Ginny was stupid, far from it in fact. Ginny had always managed to keep her O.W.L.s and N.E.W.T.s scores among the top of her year, the problem was her study habits…if you could call them that. Ginny was the type of person who was capable of making exceptional grades on her tests, then cramming just in time to make "Exceeds Expectation"s on her final tests. Hermione was happy for her, but still felt that with better study skills she could easily make more "Outstanding"s than she was now. Of course, every time she tried to bring it up to Ginny, it quickly became a discussion about why Hermione worked too hard. It was quite frustrating really, especially since she never could figure out when the conversations had taken that turn.

"Hermione…" Ginny's voice softly pierced through Hermione's thoughts. She looked back up at Ginny.

"Hm?" She asked, still half lost in her own thoughts.

"You're doing it again…"

"…Doing what?"

"Being introspective. It's really not good for you, you know." Ginny said, a sly smirk creeping onto her face. Hermione just rolled her eyes.

"Wow, 'introspective'? That's a pretty big word for you, Gin." Hermione replied jokingly.

"Hey now! I resent the fact that everyone thinks that I'm just some idiot with a hot body!" Ginny mock-pouted, sitting back up on the branch.

"Ooo, 'resent'? You looking to break some personal records, or something?" Hermione taunted good-naturedly, her previous irritation somehow disappearing. Ginny scowled, before jumping to her feet with a sudden grin.

"Okay, no more stalling! And yes, I knew all along that you were just trying to stall the inevitable! Get your ass on this branch! Right now!" She said, skillfully creeping closer to the edge. Hermione let out a very un-Hermione-like whimper.

"Gin, I really don't want to." She whined.

"Awww, is Hermione a big chicken?" Ginny taunted, flapping her arms like a bird and "BAWK"ing very loudly. The older witch crossed her arms indignantly.

"Yes, yes she is. But at least she's a chicken whose legs aren't broken!" She huffed.

Ginny just gave the older witch one last smirk, before diving into the river below.

Hermione rolled her eyes. This kind of upstaging behavior was not uncommon in the Weasley family, but it seemed as though this trait had been lavished shamelessly upon the redhead chaser. Maybe because she was the youngest and the only girl and therefore the one who felt that she had something to prove. Finally, Ginny's head appeared above the cool water.

"You're such a showoff." Hermione muttered, smiling in spite of herself.

"I'm not a showoff! I just know how to have fun! If you lifted your head out of those books every now and then, you'd know how to have fun too!" Ginny said, swimming to the edge where the bank tapered.

"I know how to have fun!" Hermione protested.

"…Really?" Ginny asked, eyebrow arched high.

"Really! My idea of fun is just…different…from your idea." Hermione shifted nervously from foot-to-foot. When Ginny stared at her like that, she always felt as though she was being analyzed, her secrets out in the open, free to be scrutinized and judged. It made Hermione feel uncomfortable, yet secure in the fact that Ginny would never lay judgment on her, though she was the one giving her the feeling in the first place.

Hermione sighed, she hated it when her thoughts contradicted each other.

"Heeerrrrmiiiioooneeee…" Ginny drug Hermione's name out, catching her attention once again. "You're doing it again…"

"I am not being introspective!" Hermione huffed.

"Yes you are! Know how I know?"

"…How?" Hermione just had to hear this one.

"Because you furrow your brow really funny-like, like you do when you're reading an interesting passage in a book. Or trying to understand a spell that you can't quite get." Ginny said, bringing her own eyebrows together in a very exaggerated way to tease her best friend. Hermione glared, but giggled when Ginny crossed her eyes upward to further emphasize her point.

"I don't do that." Hermione protested half-heartedly, her mind reeled a bit from the knowledge that Ginny noticed little things like her facial expressions. An evil little voice in her head reminded her that Ron never bothered to notice things like that. That never did make sense to her, how Ron could see a fake in a Quidditch pass from fifty feet away, but he couldn't tell when Hermione was angry until she started screaming at him. Maybe if he had, things would have gone better during the Yule Ball last year…

"MIONE!" Ginny yelled. Hermione blushed, she'd been caught.

"Okay, okay! Maybe I am a bit introspective…" Hermione grudgingly admitted.

"A little?! Mione, no offense, but you've gotta learn to act instead of always thinking. Every now and then, you just gotta tell your head to shut up and listen to your heart." Ginny rambled on as she pulled herself out of the water and onto the bank, flopping onto a towel placed beside of Hermione. Hermione watched the younger witch close her eyes and drift into herself.

"Quit staring and sit down." Ginny ordered, causing Hermione to smile and sit on her own towel. "Okay, now lie down and close your eyes." Ginny instructed. Hesitantly, Hermione did as she was told.

"Is there a point behind all of this Ginny?" Hermione asked as she closed her eyes, a bit wary of whatever Ginny had in mind.

"None whatsoever." Came the simple reply.

"…Then why are we doing it?"

"What does it matter? Why do you have such a problem with just laying around, doing nothing?" Ginny asked, clearly exasperated.

"I don't know, I just don't like to feel useless I guess." Hermione admitted, eyes still closed. Ginny opened her eyes and propped herself up on one elbow.

"Hermione, you're not useless." Ginny whispered softly.

"I know, but when I'm just sitting around, it feels like there's something I could be doing. Something that will help someone." The older witch said in a voice just barely above a whisper.

"…You're helping me." Ginny finally whispered. The quiet confession caused Hermione to start slightly. She sat up and looked at the younger witch intently.

"…What?"

"You're helping me. Just by being next to me. When you're around I feel…safe." Ginny whispered, now finding the green grass between the two girls interesting. Hermione sat silently for what seemed like forever.

"Gin…I didn't know…" Hermione trailed off, not quite sure of what to say. "...Okay, let's stay here for a little while longer."

Ginny's smile warmed Hermione's heart to the melting point. They both settled back down, noticeably closer to each other than before. A few minutes passed before Ginny spoke up once again.

"Hey Mione!"

"Hmmm?"

"What do you think that cloud looks like?"

"Which one?"

"That one." Hermione rolled her eyes.

"Wow Gin, that really narrowed it down." She said with a snort. Her laughter was cut short, however, when Ginny scooted over until she was practically on top of the bookworm. As Ginny placed her head on her chest, Hermione was quickly made aware of just how skimpy the one-piece that she had on was, not to mention the bikini on Ginny. Ginny then grabbed her hand and pointed it at the cloud.

"That one, right there. What does it look like to you?" Ginny asked, looking at her innocently.

Hermione couldn't think. Ginny's head was on her chest, right next to her right breast. Ginny's hot breath was blowing onto her neck, she was sensitive there. Oh Merlin, her heart…beating so fast…jumping out of her chest…her breath coming in short, quiet gasps…she felt like she was about to explode…

"Mione? Your heart's beating really fast." Ginny said, just looking at her calmly. Hermione's mouth went dry, how in the hell could Ginny be so calm?!

"Eep…breath…neck…heart…boom…" Hermione whimpered incoherently, causing Ginny to furrow her brow.

"Um, excuse me?"

"A HIPPOGRIFF!" Hermione suddenly shrieked, making Ginny jump in surprise. Hermione blushed. "Erm, I mean, it looks like a hippogriff…"

"Um, okay." Ginny said in a nervous voice as she turned to look back at the cloud. "Hey! It does look like a hippogriff! Like Buckbeak!"

Just like that, Ginny seemed to forget all about Hermione's odd behavior. Hermione took this opportunity to take a few deep breaths, imagining that she was breathing out her anxiety every time that she exhaled. It was a technique that her parents had taught her and she found that it always managed to do the trick.

"Um…how about that one?" Ginny asked, shifted both of their hands to indicate the other cloud.

"…The Hogwarts Express." Hermione said after a moment of thought.

"Hmm, hey! It kinda does! Okay, now the next part!"

"The next part? They're clouds, how much deeper can you get than that?"

"Oh ye of little faith." Ginny teased. "The next part is the one where you make up a story about them!"

Hermione blinked.

"…I beg your pardon?"

"It's granted. Now, think up a story about them!" Ginny said, looking at her with those big, green eyes…she looked so…NO! Focus! A story…

"Um…well…how should I start?"

"Well, when would you see Buckbeak near the Hogwarts Express?" Hermione had to think about that one, no small feat considering the look that Ginny was giving her.

**What the hell are you talking about?! It's not even a look! Like, a "look" look! It's just a look!**

Hermione shook her head. Ginny was right. Introspecting, bad. It was almost like she was starting to hear voices…

"Ummm, I guess if we missed the train and needed to find another way to Hogwarts." Hermione found her mind drifting to her second year…

"Yeah, because a flying bird horse is not conspicuous at all! You sound like Ron when he took the flying car!" Apparently, Ginny was thinking the same thing.

"Well, Buckbeak would be smarter! He'd land on Platform 9 ¾, not at the station." Hermione replied, as if hippogriffs swooping in to save the day were an everyday occurrence.

**Well, in a way, it kinda is.**

_Focus dammit!_

"Well, what would be the point?" Ginny then asked, a little grin on her face.

"Huh?" Hermione asked, her mind elsewhere. Like where in the hell did that other voice come from?!

"Why bother with getting Buckbeak to the platform in the first place? Why not just ask one of the adults to help?" Ginny asked.

"Because most of the adults couldn't help grass grow…" Hermione muttered. Ginny caught it, however, and erupted into peals of laughter. Hermione blushed, she was kinda hoping that Ginny wouldn't hear that.

"Hermione Granger! I didn't know you had that one in you!" Ginny snorted, still laughing.

"…Um, please don't tell?" Hermione asked, a nervous look on her face.

"Don't worry, your inner hatred of adults is safely hidden."

"Um…well, I wouldn't call it hatred…that's a pretty strong word…perhaps an extreme dislike…" Hermione fumbled through her sentence, not really knowing what to say.

"Okay, okay, extreme dislikes aside. How does Hermione go about enlisting Buckbeak's aide?" Ginny asked, changing the direction of the conversation, much to Hermione's relief.

"Well…wait. We're referring to ourselves in the third person?"

"Well, yeah!"

"…Why?" Hermione asked hesitantly, not really sure if she wanted to know.

"Because you can't tell a story with "me" and "you", it defeats the whole purpose!" Ginny replied, now sounding eerily like Hermione.

"It…it does?"

"Yeah, saying "you" and "me" implies that the other person was there. What's the point in telling the story if the person you're telling it to was there? They already know what happens! And since I don't know what happens in this story, and you don't know any other Ginny's, then you have to tell the story with "Hermione" and "Ginny"." Ginny explained.

"…I didn't realize there was a science to this whole thing…" Hermione muttered, furrowing her brow.

"Of course! Why wouldn't there be?"

**Well, can't argue with that logic…**

"I just thought that you said, "Once upon a time" and went from there…"

"Do you want to start all over? Beginning with "Once upon a time"?"

"Uh, sure, why not?"

"Okay!" Ginny snuggled closer, settling in for the story and causing Hermione's heart to skip a beat.

"O-Okay…Once upon a time, there were two friends, Hermione and Ginny. They were getting ready to start their fifth year at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, but the train to the school left them behind. So-"

"How did they miss the train?" Ginny interrupted.

"Um…Hermione got lost in her thoughts again. By the time Ginny brought her back, the train had already left. So, they realized that they needed another way to get to Hogwarts. Hermione decided to call in a favor from an old friend, Sirius Black."

"Who?"

"Sirius! You know…Oh! Right…" Hermione remembered now, she had to tell the story as if Ginny had never heard it before. "Well, Sirius Black was convicted of murder, but he was innocent. He escaped Azkaban, the wizarding prison, in Hermione's third year. Hermione helped him elude the Ministry of Magic because she knew that he was actually a good man. Buckbeak, a hippogriff who had also been unjustly accused of a crime, escaped with Sirius on his back. Anyway, Hermione flooed Sirius on a nearby fireplace and requested that he send Buckbeak to give her and Ginny a lift. He agreed, and Buckbeak came swooping onto the platform not long afterwards. So the two witches hopped onto his back and flew off."

"What about their luggage?"

**Damn, you didn't think about that…**

"Um, it was already on the train."

"But they weren't?"

**Argh! Storytelling is harder than it looks…** (AN: Indeed it is, Hermione!)

"No, because Ginny thought that she'd forgotten something."

"But she didn't?"

"No. Anyway-"

"What was it?" Ginny interrupted again.

"…A necklace that Hermione gave her for her birthday. Now-"

"What kind of necklace?"

Hermione sighed. Reckless behavior, storytelling, voices, and now non-stop questions! This was really getting old…

"The kind that goes around your neck! Now, Ginny was in front of Hermione while they flew, because Hermione was scared of heights-"

"Huh? But she's a witch! And you never said what the necklace looked like!"

**Damndamndamndamn…**

"Does Ginny want Hermione to tell the story or not?!" Hermione growled.

"…Ginny just wants to know about the necklace." Ginny replied, playing along.

"Well, Hermione's getting irritated!"

**Why are you still talking like this?!**

"Why?"

"Because Ginny's driving her crazy!"

"How is she doing that?"

"She expects Hermione to think under these conditions!"

"What conditions?"

**Shut up! Shut up now!**

_NO! No, keep going!!!!_

Apparently, her two inner voices had decided to start fighting…Hermione fought to ignore it.

"Ginny's so close, and Hermione can barely breathe…" Hermione trailed off softly, now looking into Ginny's eyes.

"Why is Ginny's closeness making it hard for Hermione to breathe?" Ginny asked, voice as soft as Hermione's.

**Stop!!!! Get up, go back to the Burrow, and pretend this whole thing was just a bad dream!!!!**

_NO!!!! It's not bad!!!!_

"She doesn't know why, but whenever Ginny's around, Hermione always has a hard time breathing." Hermione admitted.

"…Ginny has a hard time breathing around Hermione too." Came the quiet confession. Hermione's mouth went dry. She licked her lips and fought to find her voice.

"She…she does?"

"Yeah, she has since her friend Harry told her about how Hermione helped save Sirius and Buckbeak."

Hermione couldn't believe this was really happening! It was like a wonderful dream…

**It's not a dream!!!! This is real!!!! STOP!!!!!!!**

_KEEP GOING!!!!! YOU'RE ALMOST THERE!!!!_

"But, Hermione thought that Ginny liked Harry. When did that change?" Hermione asked, ignoring her voice of reasoning.

"It changed when she realized that Harry liked Ron, not her."

**WHAT?!**

"What?"

"Yeah, it was a shock for Ginny too."

**…**

_Perfect! Head is silenced! Now, GET ON WITH IT!!!!!!_

"So, Ginny doesn't like Harry anymore?"

"No, she likes someone else…"

"…Oh…who?"

_(Sigh) Like you really needed to ask that!_

"…Do you really need to ask me that?" Ginny asked, eyebrow raised.

"Um…Well…Uh…"

_Merlin's pants, that's it! Move over girl! You're heart's taking control!_

Before Hermione could protest, her lips came into contact with Ginny's.

**NOOOOOO!!!!!!! STOP!!!! DESIST!!!! CEASE!!!!**

_Oh, just shut up!_

For the first time, Hermione's head listened to her heart.

_AN_: So...hope you enjoyed it! If not, then please be polite if you decide to leave a review. If you enjoyed it, then let me know because happy readers do brighten my day!


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